FIVE LANGUANGES OF LOVE

Each of us have different needs & personality, the way we talk & view different situation or events we encounter in our life. Amazingly Dr. Gary Chapman's was able to divide this needs of understanding through five love languages. Being able to know these languages will help us to connect with other people and understand making us more sensitive to someone's feelings thus reducing conflict, pain and hurt.

Communication is the key to have a successful relationship whether it be towards our husband or wife, parents, children, friends or even to strangers.

We want the other person to know that we understand, love and we care for them. But since we have different ways of expressing love and different ways we need to receive love, 5 languages of love are define below:

1) Words of Affirmation
Mostly called verbal appreciation, it use verbal compliments to feel loved. Person under this love language appreciate even a simple words like "You look great", "You're the best cook", "I love the way you do ...."; Another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is by Offering encouragement. eg. supporting a difficult decision, praising progress they've made on a project etc. If words of affirmation is the primary love language of a person then offering encouragement from loved one will help them to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

“I can live for two months on a good compliment” - Mark Twain

2) Quality Time:
Quality time is about focusing all your energy and undivided attention on the other person. Quality conversation involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a loving, uninterrupted situation. Often they are just wanting a sympathetic ear, to feel that they are truly being heard - not someone to solve their problems.

People feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together brings people closer and give you things that you can reminisce over in the future. Quality time and communication is a necessary ingredient to happy relationships.

3) Receiving Gifts:
Some people respond well to visual symbols of love. These are treasure gifts express as love and devotion. Lack of gifts represents a lack of love. Fortunately this is the easiest love language to learn. However, if you are a saver it may be difficult for you to understand spending money as a way of showing love - remember this is not about investing money in gifts but in your relationship.

Gifts don’t need to cost a lot of money, they don't even need to be every day or even every week. If the persons primary love language is receiving gifts then any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

4) Acts of Service:
Sometimes doing simple jobs around the house can be an expression of love as it requires time, effort and energy. This can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion.

However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates therefore you have to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love. Example If you spend the day washing the car and walking the dog but your partner feels that giving him a snack while he is working on something are more important then he may feel unloved, despite the fact that you did many other jobs throughout the day.

It's also important that these acts of service are done out of love and not obligation. If these are done for the wrong reason than the partner doing these acts may feel resentment - they need to come from the kindness of your heart. These little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

5) Physical Touch:
Many people feel the most loved when they receive physical contact. Sex makes many partners feel secure and loved in a relationship. However, it is only one aspect of physical touch. It is important to understand how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to various touches. Some touches may be irritating and uncomfortable for your partner. Physical touch can be big things like back massages or lovemaking or little acts such as a hand on the shoulder or stroke of hair.

All relationships have crises and in these times physical touch is very important. A hug can communicate your huge love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice. Remember though that what type of touch makes you feel secure may not be what makes your partner happy so you better be sensitive about.


Summary:

I always believe in the bible when it states.."love thy neighbors as you love your self. Treating someone important as you treat yourself will make it easy to adjust & be sensitive to someone else needs. Communication is a two way process & it will only be shown if we act kindness towards one another.

What ever language of love we have, bottom line is to express it genuinely & with sincerity.

Test what language of love you have.

My source - Dr. Gary Chapman